How to Love Yourself
2. Create goodwill and thankfulness by practicing random deeds of kindness by sharing your being with others in many ways. Share your knowledge in nice ways or make a small donation to a needy elderly person or to an unfortunate child.
3. Express yourself, perhaps in letters, if that fits your circumstance, or write an article, when you have a topic. Share your ideals, time -- or things you have or get.
4. Learn to let go of past events. You deserve a fresh beginning! There are a lot of people out there that have had hard lives/bad beginnings or moments. Don't close yourself out of grief, disappointments, or fears of future ridicule. Acknowledge your feelings, but work to put them behind you. Cherish what you have learned from your challenges, and how you have changed and grown from them.
5. Forgive yourself. Don't punish yourself for something you have done in the past. Instead, look at the mistake as a learning experience. Say to yourself now: “I forgive myself for _______.” Go look in a mirror and say it out loud to yourself, look yourself right in the eyes and speak forgiveness like you mean it. Don't ever demean or ridicule yourself, or if you do then laugh realizing that was then and this is now. Every day is a new beginning.
6. Post positive statements up someplaces where you will see them each and every day. "I am beautiful." or "I have the courage to love." Read them outloud, every day, at least once, ideally at least ten times each time you notice one of them. Sticky notes are fabulous for such affirmations and goals.
7. Sit in front of the mirror. Imagine in the mirror is someone putting you down. Then practicing calming replying to her, "I do 'not' care," with a smile. Practice it until you truly believe it.
8. Try to look past "material" objects and feelings: We all want a nice house, nice things, someone to share our life with. Find your true wants objectively. Do you crave power, a religion or simply a motive? Sometimes it's easier to hide the truth from yourself, but figuring out what you really want will help you know yourself better and hopefully aid in answering important questions you often ask yourself.
9. Keep a journal. Write about your experiences, good and bad. When you write down good experiences, allow yourself to feel those feelings. When you remember bad experiences, allow yourself to feel self-compassion. Compassion is not self-pity, but rather willingness to be present/accept with one's own pain and regret. Most people experienced chronic emotional invalidation growing up; adults shouldn't expect others to be validating, and need to learn how to validate themselves. Compassion allows us to be present with our pain so it can acknowledged and let go.
10. Be Persistent. Work as steadily as you can at loving and accepting yourself just as you are right now. A large part of love is accepting another "as is". This is no different for yourself—learn to love yourself "as is". Only after we've accepted themselves we might think about changing some less-than desirable characteristics.
11. Start working toward how and what you want to do and be. Do so with a positive attitude by working toward your higher purposes and greater appreciation of your problems as motivating your finding new and better opportunities. Be enthusiastic and cheerful (appropriately).
12. Define yourself by what you've accomplished rather than what you haven't. Remember that success is not a destination. Success is making progress (toward the desires of your heart). Accept yourself, and others will follow your lead.
13. Hug Yourself. Show yourself love through a hug by hugging the real you.
14. Be yourself. Be who you really are, express yourself, laugh, play, sing. Don't be afraid of what others think, they feel the same way and want to express themselves, but are afraid to show it too.
15. Trust yourself. Don't just blindly follow other peoples suggestions. Learn to trust who you really are.
16. Think of five positive words that describe you. Try not to use words like *pretty* and *nice*. Try variety.
17. BE WITH PEOPLE WHO LOVE AND ACCEPT YOU. The relationships you keep in your life will play a part in your happiness. You don’t have to stay in relationships that make you question your self-worth. Be with people who love you for who and what you are.
18. Think about what you really want someone to be like in a relationship. Do those characteristics also apply to you?
Tips
- Remember that you are human because sometimes we feel like outcasts or weirdos, but that is just something that makes you unique and to be human is to be imperfect.
- Here's something to try saying every day. Place it on your mirror. It always helps: "Look in the mirror and what do I see? A handsome boy staring back at me!" "Oh wow!" I thought. Who could that be? [smile and say] "Oh! It's most definitely me!"
- Make a list of the things you could love about yourself, ie: put things you've done in one column that if you saw someone else do them, you would love them. For instance, if you scored in a game, write it down, then eventually you can build up more pros, to help you know why to love yourself (if you're analytical). In a second column comment on goals in some the items/areas, and how they can help you in future opportunities.
- Practice Metta meditation. It will help you love yourself and others more.
- Just don't become vain, vanity is not loving yourself, as you love others.
- Do what you enjoy. Go out somewhere, perhaps, with someone. Or stay at home, prepare yourself a nice meal and settle down with a good book in front of a cozy fire, a fan or air conditioner.
- Every time you realize a negative emotion, pause and feel it; then thank yourself for feeling it, accepting it. Emotions are nothing more than internal experiences which contribute to who we are. Accepting problems (negative things) as opportunities (good things) in another perspective can yield great results (problem solving).
- Mirrors will be your friend in this process. Seeing yourself as lovely and worthy of love is extremely important. Pick a favorite characteristic about yourself, and determine what exactly you don't like about yourself. Then proceed to fix these imperfections.
- Never expect to be like someone else 100%. Use your life to build a mysterious and appealing YOU. Not a remake of someone else which turns people away. Write a diary of your exciting and unique life!
- Listen carefully to the messages you are sending for yourself. Turn off negative messages or turn them into a positive messages.
- Treat yourself like the most loving parent would.
Warnings
- "Misery loves company, so do not hang-around unhappy, frowning and grouchy people."
- Loving oneself is different from self-adoration or narcissism, which are negative and a huge turn off to others as they involve placing oneself above others.
- Loving yourself does not mean grabbing all of the attention and becoming selfish. It is actually a golden confidence that whispers, I know when it is my time to shine and I can become selfless.
- Trust who you are, and decide the answers for you. Do not alter yourself because of the things people say.
- People are themselves 'til the day they die. So, you're you: the Good, the bad, the ugly, the beautiful...
- Your problems give you opportunities to develop skills, abilities, and your character.
- Trust your own judgement. Everything suggested, while it may work for the person who added it, might not work for you. Learn to trust yourself, that is a big part of self-love.
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