TAMARA BUDIMAN

Don’t underestimate the power of these phrases. Jangan meremehkan kekuatan kalimat ini. Happy couples regularly say “I love you,” but those three little words alone aren’t enough to keep the spark alive through the ups and downs of a long marriage. Pasangan yang bahagia seringkali mengucapkan “aku cinta kamu” atau “aku saying kamu”. Tapi kalimat ini saja tidak cukup untuk membuat pernikahan langgeng. To that end, we asked relationship experts to tell us the most important phrases husbands and wives can say to each other. Read them below: 1. “How can I help you?” “People married for a half-century or more tell us to avoid the temptation to step in and try to solve your partner’s problems. Stop thinking of yourself as the ‘white knight’ who can fix everything. The key is to really listen to your partner and learn if he or she wants help – or just to be listened to. ‘I’m there for you’ is more effective than ‘Here’s what you should do.’” — Karl A...

There are so so many good days around here. So many smiles, perfect moments, experiences as a mother I wouldn't trade for anything. There are also times where I feel the days begin to blur into the next, where I'm deep in the trenches of motherhood, deep in the tediousness of each and every need. Work and other projects are so exciting and exhausting at the same time. One million things (it seems) pulling me in one million different directions and some days it's hard for me to handle it all emotionally... My anxiety to have everything perfect and in-line, when sometimes it is out of my control, can be tough. Begitu banyak hari-hari yang menyenangkan belakangan ini. Rasanya menjalani hidup bersama Tuhan itu membuat segala sesuatunya menjadi indah dan mudah. Terimakasih Tuhan. This is all very vague. But I'm sure so many of you know the feeling of anxiety and being completely overwhelmed. And I just want to share that it's okay! An...

The morning was mighty rough. Rougher than most. He was hungry but didn’t want to eat. He pushed everything away, even me, but he wanted to be held. Nothing would console him. So I laid him down on my bed and let him manage his crisis himself. I sat on the bed feeling the heaviness of a very long day ahead. He came next to me, reached his hands up and I grudgingly obliged his request. He sat on my lap for a long while… just laying there with his head on my chest. I think we started the day too early and too quickly. He wasn’t ready. Pagi ini merupakan pagi yang agak berat. Raphael mulai mengalami yang namanya "susah makan". Lapar tapi ga mau makan. benar-benar menguras kesabaran saya. biasanya kalau sudah begini, saya sudahi saja makannya, lalu taruh dia di kasur. Entah gimana sepertinya Raphael Oliver mengerti dan dengan caranya sendiri mendekati saya lalu diam saja disebelah saya dengan kepalanya di dada saya. We have got into the habit of hand h...

Recently, I was asked by an acquaintance when my husband and I planned to have our next child. I wasn’t sure how to answer the question. Personally, unless I am super close with someone, I refrain from asking people questions about their family planning. Even then, I’m careful to couch the question in terms like “if” or “should you choose” rather than “when.” We’ve been getting this question, it seems, since the moment our son was born, in my first month of motherhood. I can remember a handful of people eagerly asking when we planned to have our second. I remember wincing at the question, wanting to seriously question their sanity. Di Indonesia atau bahkan di wilayah Asia pada umumnya, orang itu hobi banget nanyain Kalau masih pacaran , “kapan menikah?” Kalau udah menikah tapi belum punya anak, “kapan punya anak?” Kalau udah punya anak 1, “kapan punya anak kedua?” Ini sebenarnya hanya basa basi orang saja, namun ini benar-benar irritating banget. Emangnya gamp...

Every child is a parent’s greatest gift. That statement can not be any truer than it is for Brano and I. Last year March 2013, we finally welcomed Baby Raphael into our arms. Raphael became proof to us that God really does answers prayers. Setiap anak merupakan anugerah dari Tuhan. Raphael bukti nyata bahwa Tuhan sungguh menjawab doa, apabila kita meminta dengan ketulusan hati. The love that Brano has for Raphael made me think of my own father, who always wanted the best for me and to give me the best in life. My father never spoiled me and I was not born with a silver spoon, but he always made sure that I knew that I was a princess in his heart. He really treated me like one, and that’s how I’m always sure of it. My Dad was a man of few words, but he never tired of teaching me about how hard life is and encouraged me to strive despite of it and convinced me that even though I might lose on some days, I will always be a winner to him. To me, that is true love. My father lov...

Being a mom is hard work. It’s the best work, I have been in a little mommy bubble for the past month, not wanting for anyone or anything to disrupt this newness of my little guy and the whole newborn phase. Yes, sleep deprivation was expected but I have found that the real exhaustion comes from my straight up worry for everything this child does, the wonder if I am doing everything right, am I a good mother? Menjadi seorang ibu adalah kerja keras. Belakangan ini saya sedang berada dalam fase yang ga jelas. Pertanyaan-pertanyaan yang seringkali muncul di benak saya. Apakah saya ibu yang baik? Apakah yang saya lakukan sudah benar? Every cough, wheeze, gurgle, I am turning to google way too many times a day to see what the possible ailment could be. “Newborn gurgling sound in throat”, “why is my newborn’s skin peeling?”, “newborn making strange noises”. (These are real google searches from yours truly). I have yet to find solid answers. Most conclude I nee...

Motherhood is graciously nodding at the people in the grocery line who are glancing over at your a screeching child. Motherhood is a monster bag filled with diapers, wipes, snacks, snot suckers, toys, tissues, bananas and books. Motherhood is waking up a little too early and going to bed a little too late... Not to mention the other "ups" around 3-4 am. Menjadi seorang ibu adalah dengan anggunnya mengangguk pada orang-orang ketika sedang mengantri di kasir swalayan, dan semua orang menatap anak kita yang sedang mengamuk atau menangis. Menjadi seorang ibu selalu membawa tas besar berisi pampers, tisu basah, camilan dan mainan. Menjadi seorang ibu selalu bangun yang paling pagi, dan tidur yang paling malam dirumah. Motherhood is the worry, anxiety and stress about every cough, sniffle and sneeze. And the worry about the first time riding a bike, first date, first kiss. Will he have friends, will she be happy? Motherhood is questioning yourself about every...